Thankfully the deep dark awful has lifted, and both of the human dwellers in our home are back on more stable footing and actually enjoying life again…
What a strange and horrible detour we both took together and separately. We both are getting help for PTSD, and are both committed to letting go of all the baggage we did not even know we still carried. We both know we deserve to be happy and live well, and are going to keep heading in that direction until we transition out of the physical realm.
Without divulging tons of gore, I have decided that it is in my best interest to go to an inpatient treatment program for PTSD recovery. I have been so other focused all my life that this will be a rare opportunity for me to really get down to what it is in me that drives me away from what most people consider a balanced healthy life, and into a life of compulsive work and care giving.
I am looking at this as a seven and a half week ADULT camp, and am actually looking forward to it! I have a number of things to attend to in preparation for being gone so long, and I believe having this goal will facilitate my ability to get it all done in a timely manner so I can be mentally free to focus on what matters in my mental health.
All the folks I normally provide care for are being supportive and kind, and that is a relief and very reassuring. I am eager to find out what will change internally for me, as I move from KNOWING my wiring is all goofed up to getting back to what kind of life I used to enjoy, and within which I experienced a fair amount of quality friendships, joy, fun, and nature.