This is a very comprehensive and hilarious indictment of the hypocrisy of Kim Davis’ feigned religious persecution. If you agree, please recommend this rant to Lewis Black, John Oliver, Larry Wilmore, Stephen Colbert, etc.
Kentucky’s “Ms Defiance of Marriage Thang”, a one Kim Davis, the elected official who chooses to refuse to honor her oath of office by providing ALL legal citizens coming before her with marriage licenses from her office (amongst her other public duties), presents “her side” from the angle of “accommodation” as a support and remedy to her 1st Amendment/Freedom of Religious Expression of defense strategy; a hair-splitting faux-interpretation scheme of the Amendment, to be sure, and, as no doubt regurgitated and organized by her pulpit’s defense PAC (there I said it).
As part of the “remedy” (pfffffft!!!) she is seeking her name to be removed from marriage licenses issued and, henceforth, to be issued sans her signature and name. A cheaper and faster solution?: remove her from office for gross and intentional dereliction of duties, and relegate the issuance of marriage licenses to a branch of the DMV.
But that’s too easy. And religion never does “easy” in anything.
Add politics and you have an unholy combination.
(I know, I thought, “Accommodation? -as in wheelchair access ramps, toilet stall hand-rails and other such sundries?” as well!). But I’m pretty sure it has something to do with wearing religious clothing, if memory serves.
Yet actually, I hear it goes something like this in Kentucky (“quoting” in fluent ‘Murcan words, as follows):
“Y’see, the current law, under the auspices of our local interpretations, is that ‘accommodation’ seems to be read as though any official can serve under any righteous god they wish (of course, this IS ‘Murca! We ain’t savages!), and make claims of having a belief in god, and as such they have obtianed a faith so sublime, so surreal and so divine that it exempts them specifically from holding up their legal and sober obligations to anyone they claim “their faith” will not allow them to serve -for any reason- you know, like trying to destroy the traditional definition of marriage and ‘Murca. It’s simple: ‘Don’t make me do things I swore an oath to god to do at work that are part of my daily chores and duties, because, the very same god also told me and said ‘ Y’all homasekshuls are not the boss of me!'”.Y’see, (spitting into a cup) ‘totherwise it’s called religious persekewshin and this is ‘Murca dammit! And that’s jus’rong!
‘S-protected in the Consteetew-shun”.*ptooey!*” says, Ms Kentucky-Windy-Baggy-Thang-y.
Sound ridiculous? (A public servant not serving, again? Not that!)
But how does this grab you:
*Hey! Jesus told me I didn’t have to pay my mortgage for a whole year every seven years! It’s gods law doncha know!*
(He’s from Wisconsin).
*Well Elijah came to me in a dream & said I should run over here and piss in your salad!*
*The Crystal Blue Cabbage told me to disregard the color red. It no longer exists in my vibration…* (a Pisces no doubt)
*Tom Cruise told me to stab just one person in the eye -today! Aren’t you the lucky one?* (Hollyweird)
…and so does driving “30 minutes either way” (to another county) because that ill-informed heifer simply won’t issue a marriage license out of her office [*whispering* because she won’t trust in faith in her god to find her a better job serving “traditional”(read: heterosexual and hence “better”, “more deserving”) “human” beings…Shhh! ].
“But don’t judge me by my job performance. It’s MY FAITH, MAN!”
(I think jesus just had an anxiety *poot*).
I just wonder why some post-intern newbie, office upstart looking to better themselves hasn’t stepped up and said, “I’m the assistant ‘jerk’ today, but how can I be of service?” And (handing them a map with TRULY helpful information), “Here’s where you vote next year! Do you have your proper documents? Here’s where you can get help with that!”
[A girl can dream can’t she?]
Many probably never thought the day would come when their religious beliefs would actually collide with their oaths of office.
EGAD! The HORRORS!
And even more of these people never, ever gave a fig that their “faith” might be ever tested in the workplace. (You know, a test of faith, like that Jehovah’s Witness kid at school who went to the library every time there was a Christmas or Hallowe’en party or who didn’t say the Pledge of Allegiance? Their test of faith was telling the teacher why they couldn’t stay, citing chapter and verse, and then to come back to class from the library and endure the endless ridicule and being kicked or hit or struck with something for it every-single-day). It sucks, no doubt. But hey! Small price to pay for the glory of gawd and life eternal -am I right? Ba-Da-BOOM!
This is why some people, for (one, ripe) example: Jehovah’s Witnesses, do not seek or hold public office, vote in any elections, serve in the military, or accept blood transfusions, recite the Pledge of Allegiance or rise for the National Anthem (amongst other strict adherences). Some of them seem to walk their talk (just like in any other faith). I call that having a “spine of faith.” Some have them. Kim Davis, you do not. “Faith without works is dead” (James 2:14-26 Read it, they’re short stanzas). If you are going to claim “faith” as your shield, it HAS to lead you, not just as a tool for your petty tyrannical ego trip.
It’s not that they’re (J.W.’s) are “uninformed”, for they are -and verily so, but the difference is in the action of their faith. I’m not a huge fan, but, to the faith’s credit they don’t even try to apply for a job that will put them in conflict with their faith -in the first place, -and they certainly do not use “faith” as a weak-ass afterthought of a defense against your acute homophobia and fearing your rapidly deteriorating system of beliefs being pit against the changing social structure of your white-bread ‘Murca, Ms Kim Davis. But for my money, THOSE are some real examples of religious persecution from “expression of faith” (without calling out the unholy horrors of WW2). J.W.’s might have some faults, but where’s your spine of faith Ms. Lawdy Kentucky? Faith is easy in calm seas. These “persecution” waters you tread are NOT storms of religious persecution, trust me.
Watch and learn, because “By their fruits you shall know them.”-John Waters… (….and the late j. c. said it too, as reportedly reported by someone who said the apostle had heard it once upon a time and wrote such things, allegedly at Matthew 7:16) …although, in fairness, j. c. did probably say it first…
So KUDOS! Ms Divinity Kentucky! You ARE taking a sort of quasi-test of your faith, in your tough *persecutions*, those very *stripes you bleed* for your faith at work ….but really, don’t don your thorny crown just yet!
Ms Kentucky-Martyr-Wanna-Be, it’s not “religious persecution” you’re experiencing right now. You are personally denying people their CIVIL RIGHTS UNDER THE LAW. They are inconvenienced and are frankly decades past tired of waiting. Your religious view, as displayed, demonstrates NOTHING in the public space but a smudge on whom you claim to represent. (Yes THAT Jesus). “The gays” love him too y’know. Yet, most of us have blown your doors in the lessons on mercy and compassion though. Maybe you were at a different church or missed those classes? “Just sayin….”
(I hate that saying).
~Let me put it another way, if you work in a publicly funded job, sweetie, and the Supreme Court has directed you personally to obey the law, and people are yelling at you, its not “religious persecution” or a “war on religion” or a “jihad on the christ” or ‘Murca or the holy mother of flatulence. IT IS ALL ABOUT YOU NOT DOING YOUR JOB!! They are rightfully angry. (With righteous indignation, as an odd irony….).
“You cannot serve two masters!” (Luke 16:13)
“If anyone doesn’t want to work, he shouldn’t eat.” (2 Thessalonians 3:10).
So maybe you should pay back your salary for the time you did not perform your public function. You’re not being religious or faithful. And it is so obvious.Y’feel me Ms Kentucky Crunchy Pants?
You’re just being a jerk.
(And you’re making Jesus cry. Stoppit!!!!)
But I can’t let you go just yet. You hold an elected public office and therefore you land somewhere in the governmental chain of command!
So (taking a half-step out on a limb here), I have to ask the question: is your coming back to work every day and not doing the job you ran for and were elected and paid to do the kind of “religious persecution” remotely “like” the kid who took the beatings and kicking for not saluting the flag in elementary school -every day? The same kid who had the shit kicked out of her for her religious beliefs, who was called a “Communist” and a “Jew” for having a different belief system than the others? Hmmm? You know, the REAL acts of religious persecutions?
What kind of “accommodation” would you offer that kid, Ms Self-Righteous Kentucky?
-Or could you/would you perhaps NOT help her because it would be an act of your “faith” to DENY HER ASSISTANCE (maybe police or other meaningful protection for “accommodation” of her faith at school) because she wasn’t your “brand” of faith?
Yet the late “j.c.” ate lunch with the whores and tax collectors from anywhere!
If you follow the breadcrumbs of your pulpit’s political PAC’s reasoning you will end up in some fresh hell of your own making, not some mere discomfort such as you are experiencing now.
Questions of faith may be within the jurisdiction of your “marriage defiance department” at your local office’s branch of religion. But you are a PUBLIC servant and as such you serve -or- you leave -AS SHOULD ANYONE who could have offered to assist in your office but WHO DID NOT DEFY YOU.
And FYI: your faith (and the religious beliefs of anyone else) has absolutely NO place in the Taxpayer funded, public sector in policy or practice AT ALL IF they deny ANYONE a SINGLE CIVIL RIGHT.
Remember your church teachings Ms Kentucky-Thang-Dang-Doodle? Let’s take one more trip back to your Sunday school…
“Christians” (in particular!) are admonished to “give back Cesar’s things to Cesar and god’s things to god”(Mark 12:17), which means (especially) if you are elected by the people (read:Cesar) who pay you to do work for the taxpayers and theirs, you ARE doing your gods will. God understands your lame human faith and will forgive you for not running for re-election should you decide to do the christian thing and perform your work for your paycheck. But I’m certain your god will be mighty impressed if you walked out right now. THAT would be a real demonstration of your “faith”. But maybe at your Sunday school they were more concerned with Easter Egg hunts. And that’s OK too! Just different focuses in conditioning, right?
No crime there. …until you grow up and don’t perform your elected function and blame it on your “faith”. When you wake up from the swirl of media surrounding you right now, if it hasn’t dawned on you yet, Ms Thick Kentucky, your church’s defense fund is (odds on) funded by a PAC and your ego is being used and you are being exploited by the people you claim are your tribe. And you deserve it all. Hard karma there darlin’! Enjoy the ride of the persecuted! You screamed for it.
WE ALL are Cesar. Even those who choose NOT to vote for religious reasons.
So YOU bend Ms Kim Davis. Or YOU go bye-bye.
Still, the time HAS come -and passed, into law once and for all. And as such, people need to consider reframing the picture and restate the narrative:
“Christianity/Religion are NOT the ones being persecuted here!”
Since this country’s inception it has systematically raped the civil rights of everyone but a white man’s -up until very recently. (And they are not well pleased!) And since the demographics are no longer firmly established in “Old Farty-White-Man-Land” (and are rapidly aging out) the next place you look for your other “Old Farty-Fart Folk” is “Old Farty-Folk Church” to make your last stand “against those who defahhh the laws of gaawwd-awl-might-eh and rooo-eeen the ver-rah, ah say, TAY-yah the ver-rah fabric of marr-y-ij”
(because it has 3 syllables in much of the South. Special!)
They are blaming Civil Rights for the downfall of this great country.
It’s like calling water sinful and bad for being moist.
“Say wut?”, asks
I thought you’d never ask!
What is happening is your world-view can no longer hold its center -because you are devoid of true faith. The kind of faith that comes from knowing yourself, and knowing that it is only between you and your Freddy Mercury, your Mohammed, Jesus, Source, Mickey Mouse or Peter Pan (and all the other terms of religion) or but better and kinder still, let’s just split the difference and call “It” “the god of Your Understanding”. It’s between you and You. (Please keep it that way. Jeezus!)
Religions-at-large all preach the same tenants of love, peace, and verily variations on the same “fear and hate the other” flavor and others stains of blah-de-fekkin-blah dogma-crap added on by whatever men had thrown the most money, power and dirt on someone else at the time….(okay, I’m oversimplifying a little).
And they all seem to be failing in spectacular fashion. Yet in terms of failing spectacularly in the political world the GOP is leading the way, blazing the trail to hades (as it were) because SOME SMALL FACTION of the GOP is the POG (party of God). Or so your actions would declare, Ms KKKentucky.
But when the rubber meets the road, the State of Kentucky (and others watching to follow) is either going to have to terminate, impeach or whatever-her for not upholding the duties of her office and obligations AS AGREED, or she’s gonna have to take one for the God Squad and quit “on accounta her beliefs”.
And she won’t get unemployment if she quits…nor should she if she is fired “for cause” (and there is PLENTY). Not a red fekkin cent. (Call it “the gas money” spent for the “30 minute ride either way” to those you denied). You don’t get to deny civil rights AND get unemployment.
I know. The horrors of your persecutions! Poor nunu.
How’s that for pushing the “faith” envelope Ms Kentucky-Wishes-Your-Absence?
~Pick up thine last check and walk!~
Freedom of Expression of religious beliefs IS protected in the workplace.
But if your job duties REQUIRE (magic word) you to do things that
MIGHT (other magic word) put you in conflict with your “religious beliefs/faith”, you should NOT apply for the job or run for ANY office, whose salary is paid by the Public (or anyone else really). Ask France. They’ve worked it out. But oh yeah, they only helped us bid England adieu. Homophobic, xenophobic, Lo-Fi, isolationist, GMO crop-fed morons. (No, not you, France.)
Food for thought:
The old paradigm of “faith” requires some kind of “persecution” to exist, doesn’t it now? (Well, Ms King James Kentucky Version’s kind of seems to at least. Not mine. Eeeeuu). Will “st pete” really deny her the pearly g’s and the whole shebang up yonder, easy street-on-high? Will the “late, great j c” be pissy and hold the eternal soul grudge? Ooooh. Burn. Maybe she’ll roast in hell for ETERNITY for just a few years of doing your job that you promised god you would perform. He just seems a little… flaky.
Just sayin’…[religion makes people a little cray-cray].
Better still, maybe she will “opt herself out” and “self-deport”, striking a blow for christ and QUIT HER JOB and see how well her faith serves her! It could (and does) happen!
[Hey! I’m not without faith. I’m not a complete jerk here ~this is just coming from an authentically (and regularly) religiously persecuted kid ~and Kim Davis is FULL OF SHIT!]. Have I made myself understood?
I’m absolutely certain that if her faith and heart are aligned and good, that her very pretty god will provide for her a very pretty new job surrounded by like-minded people (maybe on an island far, far away….).
I’ve been waiting to say that for-EVER….
And before I go: A large part of political corruption is money flowing to/from politicians, sure, but mostly the political grip of the GOP/POG is their messaging INTO the churches and the key means to motivate with active political intent (angry elderly white folks mostly) to the poles to vote for hate and fear….while simultaneously and actively trying to suppress voting in other lives. But that’s another rant.
Interrupt that circuit and “REPEAL THE CHURCH TAX EXEMPT STATUS 100% FOREVER!”
Copyright September 1, 2015
BigotryIsNotChristian #DiscriminationIsNotConstitutional #TrueFollowersAvoidCivilandMilitaryService